Entrepreneurs face rejection a lot. It’s part of the deal. Even if you’re out there every day being completely giving, open, and honest, you’ll still face some rejection. Everyone won’t buy from you. Not everyone will want what you have to offer. It’s what you do with that rejection that will decide your level of success.
In “The Four Agreements”, Don Miguel Ruiz suggests that whatever happens around us, we have to not take it personally, even if we’re faced with scathing criticism. You take it personally when you inwardly agree with the rejection. This means that you believe when someone says “no” to you that it has something to do with you personally rather than something to do with them.
Your prospects live in their own world. They are dealing with their own fears, frustrations, and beliefs that have nothing to do with you. It’s just the way that they see the world.
Now, having said that, I know that’s really hard to do. As social creatures we are wired to seek approval and avoid rejection. However, it’s really important to not let that cause you to avoid situations where you might be rejected or told “no”. In order to be successful as a solopreneur, you have to put yourself out into the world in a big way. You have to speak your mind, write about what you believe in, and sell your services.
Not everyone will agree with you. Not everyone will buy. That’s okay.
So, what can you do to take the sting out of “no”?
# 1 – Turn off the unsubscribe notifications.
If you get an email every time someone unsubscribes from your list, contact your email marketing software company and find out how to turn those notifications off. Yes, you do need to periodically check your overall unsubscribe rate to make sure it’s not too high, but can you really stop yourself from feeling a little rejected every time you get one of those notices? It’s too much of a mental distraction. Turn them off.
# 2 – Turn the tables.
Instead of wondering what you did wrong and blaming yourself when a prospect says no, try to find out what belief, fear, or frustration they have that’s holding them back and address it directly. Remember, it’s not about you.
# 3 – Delete the nasty.
If you get a nasty email or social media comment from some stranger in internet land with an axe to grind or anger issues, delete it immediately. Don’t respond and don’t save it.
Now, I’m not talking about legitimate complaints, I’m talking about the emails that attack you personally and are clearly from someone wrestling with their own personal demons. Don’t engage in that sort of dialogue no matter how much you want to defend yourself. That’s just what they want from you. Don’t give it to them.
# 4 – Change your mindset.
Each “no” is a step closer to “yes”. Every time someone unsubscribes from your list, you know that your list just got a little more awesome because the people that value what you have to say are still there.
Each time a prospect says “no” is an opportunity to ask questions and find out more about what your prospects really need and want, making you a better marketer.
When you can reframe rejection in this way, you’ll understand that rejection is just a way to move you closer to building a better tribe of friends, followers, and clients. After all, isn’t that what you really want?